Parish Health Team: Grief & Stress

One in a series of Parish Health articles concerning managing stress  

We all grieve, and grief is a normal part of human life. Many people who are grieving feel God draw closer, become more personal. Jesus recognized the need to comfort those who mourn in the Beatitudes. When we think about grieving, we usually think of losing a loved one who has died. But we mourn all kinds of losses—empty nesting, separation or divorce, unemployment, moving, among others. With every life stage transition, some part of the previous stage may be lost and deserves grief, retirement, for example.

Although normal, grief is a stress, kicking in that fright-or-flight response, our heart actually aches. Kubler-Ross’ seminal work in the 70’s on the five stages of grief taught us that grief proceeds along a continuum from denial to acceptance. This has evolved into an emotional health concern when grief does not proceed, and we get stuck, continuing to grieve beyond normal (of course, everyone’s “normal” is different). This has been termed “complicated grief,” and needs attention, perhaps some counseling. You could take a few minutes and scan your feelings. Could your current stress be from unrecognized mourning over loss? Perhaps you could name that grief, bring it out into the light, pray about it, let God comfort you in loss, begin the process toward acceptance.

For more information on the difference between normal grief and complicated grief, we recommend https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/complicated-grief/symptoms causes/syc-20360374. For more information on Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross: https:// en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_stages_of_grief. 

Ruth Fugee, RN, MSN, Parish Health Ministry